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  • Writer's pictureDebbie Cowles

I am forever grateful that Steve picked me--35 years ago today.

Updated: Jul 6, 2020

July, 1985

We're celebrating 35 years today since Steve asked me to marry him. We were 21 and 23. We had been dating less than 5 months and got married in December, 5 1/2 months later :-) This year has tested our wedding vows in a new way. Steve has walked with me through 2 major abdominal surgeries and 5 chemotherapy sessions. (One more to go.) Recently, he smiled at me and said “in sickness and in health”. I am completely bald. My eyelashes are falling out into my eyes. I have almost no eyebrows left. My body hurts almost constantly. My brain is in slow gear or “chemo fog”. I have very little energy. I am often ready for a nap by 10 o’clock in the morning. I have gained weight due to the medication pumped into me. Yet this sweet man kisses me just the same as always and says I am beautiful. He says he loves me even more than he did 35 years ago because he knows me better.

Last year in Texas at the exact spot in which he asked me in 1985; a bit emotional. :)

He serves me constantly. He massages my aching body, holds me as I cry. He is doing most of the cooking and housework. He does all of the dishes and yardwork and anything messy or dangerous without being asked. To protect me from Covid, he opens the mail with gloves and disinfects food and packages that comes into the house. Every afternoon he takes me on a walk tailored to the energy I have. He encourages me to watercolour paint because he knows it refreshes me.

Due to lockdown, he was the one who had to shave my head as we both sobbed. And he hates needles, but managed to give me 25 shots in the belly.

He’s an extrovert, meaning he gets energised from people. Yet he has been on lockdown with me for 15 weeks without complaining. We have approximately 8 more weeks to go. Sure, he still does lots of ministry over the phone, but it’s not the same as in person. He can’t walk side-by-side with his friends or officers who need help. He sacrifices what he needs and wants for my safety/health/life/comfort.

He tells me all the time that I am “precious, free to rest, and safe and secure”. I love you, Steve! I am forever grateful that you picked me.

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